Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts

Gratitude and A Positive Mindset

 

Gratitude and a Positive Mindset


Benefits of Practising Gratitude

Practising gratitude is well known for developing a positive mindset. Our positive reflections force us to notice things that may otherwise go unnoticed. We become more appreciative of those little things that make up our day. 

This brings more happiness to our everyday lives as we do not focus on one bad thing that may be ruminating in our minds.

And what does everyone on this planet want? Happiness, of course! 

Negative people attract negative people and negative interactions whereas positivity attracts positive relationships. Relationships are often a source of frustration so gratitude journaling can help you attract more positivity into your relationships. 
 
It helps us enjoy our lives as we see a balance in our lives, rather than overwhelming gloom and doom. We become more appreciative.

Gratitude is easy to do - just requires us to reflect on our day. But it is a powerful tool for changing our mindset. 

Why I chose to practise gratitude


After some very sad occurrences in my life, I sank into a deep depression. This was very unlike me and it was scary.

I refused medication but had to find my own way out of depression. So I came upon the habit of gratitude while blogging online. 

It was a turning point for me in relationships and work. I was working on a casual basis at schools, at this time but I could choose to work every day with multiple offers. Other staff remarked that I always seemed happy and had a smile for them. I enjoyed my time in classes with children and gratefully helped out when I could.

Each day, I reflected on my day and it made me happy as I reflected on my accomplishments that day.

I became happier when I focused on each day's positives and started reaping the rewards in my new work situation. I became in high demand in my profession and had many offers of work and was given an ongoing position at age 67(which was unheard of).

 To this day, I am grateful and still reaping more benefits borne of practising gratitude.

Gratitude Journaling


A gratitude journal helps you keep track of the positives that happened throughout your day and the most effective way is to journal daily.

They say it takes a month to develop a new habit so you can challenge yourself to a 30-day gratitude challenge here.

Gratitude journaling becomes a beautiful keepsake for you and the coming generations as you can reread your experiences and thoughts throughout the year.

Your children and grandchildren can read and find out what sort of person you were through your journaling. 

I am a teacher and I did the Gratitude Jar with one particular student and we reread it to see what had happened in the past days. You will be surprised at how many little things you forget and it really does become a nice memory.

The Gratitude Jar is a nice idea to use with children who write the day's reflection on a strip of paper, fold it and put it in the jar. They can pull out strips when they want to read their reflections.  

Children do get excited about this activity and love rereading their past refelctions. 

For this reason, I prefer journals to apps as who knows what will happen in the future with apps?

Be grateful. The most important thing is that you are alive.



Gratitude Journals  you may like

You can use a gratitude journal daily guide to cultivating a life of gratitude and abundance.


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Finding gratitude in all life's moments

This is an example page of the full page inspirational quotes in Gratitude: Changing My Mindset
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Gratitude: Changing My Mindset Large Paperback 


This beautiful big book (8.5 x 11) contains all the important elements for your reflections of the day, helping with your mindset and road to happiness. It also has colourful, supporting gratitude quotes. Read more here.

Gratitude: Changing My Mindset

A couple of examples of inner pages in this gratitude journal:




Gratitude Journal reflection page



Practising Gratitude Inspirational quote

Start With Gratitude: Daily Gratitude Journal



I hope you have enjoyed this post. If you are interested in further reading, I have a post on Self-Care you might enjoy. You can read it here 


For more information about gratitude, you can read How Can Practising Gratitude Help You? 

Gratitude Journals for you:

Start With Gratitude: Daily Gratitude Journal

Designed to increase your happiness, bring you more joy, and by building the habits of positivity!

The Miracle Journal: Your Guided Manifestation & Gratitude Journal

Suitable for both men and women, it guides your growth by combining  shadowwork journal techniques and manifestation methods.
This book leads you to the all-encompassing benefits of gratitude and strategies to make your life and relationships happier. It comes as a book and a journal. 

 Wishing you a blissful day



Affirmation for a blissful day.






Goal-oriented email templates List Building Program in 90 days


How does practising gratitude help you?

How does practising gratitude help you?



The benefits of practising gratitude


I decided to practice gratitude after reading the benefits of practising it and making it a part of your everyday life. 

I had just been recovering from a serious bout of depression, that took me to very low levels of thinking.  I had not suffered depression before and people had usually commented on how I smiled a lot. 

But things changed drastically for me and I did not realise I was going into a downward spin until it was too late. 

 I also had a big void in my life and life does not like a vacuum! It seeks to fill it and not always with great things. 

I did not take control and things just got worse and worse. I felt alone, with no one to turn to. I also did not like to let others into my very private thoughts, so others misread me and judged what they saw on the surface. 

They were seeing the symptoms, and not the terrible feeling of desperation and not having anywhere to turn to when I needed help. 

There was always judgment and that's not helpful when you're on a downhill slide. 


Resilience and Gratitude


As I was growing up, I had developed resilience and I reminded myself that I had to believe there was a light at the end of the tunnel.  I kept saying that but I really did not believe it. 

Although I am not saying that you should not take medication for depression, it was not for me. 

I met someone who helped me enormously by supporting me in a very troubled time. He saw things that others did not see so it was easier for him not to judge me.

He knew I was making bad decisions but he also saw through lies leveled at me and my complete burnout. I had no mental strength left. 

I could not say 'no' and life was very demanding for me, as well working a very demanding job entailing 3 hours travel a day. 

He saw why I was struggling and the candle was burning at both ends, and ready to snuff out! 


My Plan to Improve my Mental Wellness with Gratitude

I had learnt with my last job that you need to fill the vacuum in your life.

I started a new job and found that I liked what I was doing. After the demands of the last job, it was a very pleasant change.

So keeping busy with a job I liked was my first step towards better health.

As it was a casual job with an agency, I still had panic attacks on my days off but I then thrust myself into learning to blog, on my days off. 

So keeping busy helped me as I did not have time for negative thoughts. 


My introduction to gratitude. 


While blogging, I came across articles on Gratitude.  They really resonated with me!


After a late divorce, and my totally giving up on ever making up the money and house I lost after 28 years of marriage, I knew I had to work hard and gain a reputable name with the agency and schools so I could get a fair amount of work throughout the year. 


I started to actively practice gratitude until it became a habit.  I read articles and sat down at the end of each workday and thought about what were the positive experiences I had that day. 

 I wrote them down so they became more concrete. 

When working with a troubled student, we made a Gratitude Jar so that we could pull a gratitude strip out, at random, and reflect on what had happened on any particular day.  

It's so easy to focus on the one bad thing that may have happened and let it sum up your whole day.


I was happy and smiling again. I became an Ambassador for my agency and was being requested by schools to be their first call when teachers were absent. 


I loved working with the kids and did not get involved in work politics. I treated my support workers well and knew how to handle difficult children, with my background in special ed. and autism. 

I did things cheerfully! 

Yes, finding the little things to be grateful for each day instead of focusing on the negative had a positive effect on my life. 

I have been the only casual teacher employed throughout the pandemic on an ongoing basis, and the school has employed me in another capacity when I finished the first placement.  


How practising gratitude can help you?


Speaking in general terms, practicing gratitude will:

make you a happier person

have a more positive outlook

improve your relationships 

attract success and abundance with the Law of Attraction

 It takes 30 days of practice to change the habits of mind.

How Gratitude underlies the Law of Attraction:

When you send out good positive vibes, you attract others effortlessly.

Your thoughts determine your experiences so positive thoughts will attract positive experiences in a person's life and vice versa. 

Another fundamental belief in the Law of Attraction:


What you give out, you receive. 

I started to sponsor individuals and families in third-world countries.  I cannot even measure the happiness that my friends from African countries have given me. 

I have a new family and circle of friends that love me very much. 

I have sponsored starving widows and their children through the local church during the pandemic. There is a lot of poverty and I'm humbled by their gratitude.

Unfortunately, many African leaders do not pass all the community aid to their communities so I have been able to establish trusting relationships to help them.
 
A small amount of money goes a long way in third-world countries. 
 
 My African friends always show gratitude and humility while living a simple life.

My greatest desire is to meet them and also to seek further ways of helping them.
It is now my primary concern, overriding my work goals. 

So, following the Law of Attraction, the mind can translate our thoughts and materialize them into our reality. 

So the Law of Attraction does give you the freedom to change and free yourself from self-doubt and worry. 

I'm fighting the demons that I picked up after going broke after my divorce and become more proactive and positive in my life's decisions and who I want in my life. 

I've learnt that doing the same thing over and over again, will only get the same results-so make sure you're making choices that get you to your vision of where you want to be. 

Our choices and actions will create our intended life, in line with our vision of where we want to be.

It's important to visualise what you want and then make the needed effort to get it. 

The Law of Attraction can further help you as it can: 


improve your money situation

increase your self-confidence

combat anxiety

get fit, lose weight

So you have nothing to lose but everything to gain by practising gratitude and understanding the Law of Attraction.

Gratitude Journal- you can see these two example pages of quotes and journal page.  Full details of this comprehensive journal can be seen here. Start your gratitude habit now and become a happier person. 






Please feel free to share your journey below too! 

Life is not smooth sailing and sometimes it's community that gets us through- our tribe. 
 
 

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Practising Gratitude Towards People

Practicing gratitude-turning talk into practice

Practicing Gratitude-turning talk into practice.

Today, I would like to practice gratitude towards people who have, in some way or other, left a favorable impression on me and remember them with fondness. 

Those who may have shown kindness, integrity, or gone the extra mile for me.

Gratitude for my dad


My dad-the hardest thing is to limit dad to a few short paragraphs! An incredible man who loved his family and community. 

After his death, all the Hungarian clubs in Victoria that mushroomed from the first club he started, stood for 5 minutes silence in his honour, even though he had been off the scene for more than 30 years when he died at 86.

He left Europe to give us a better life and built a tiny bungalow for us to live in while he built our first brick home.

He was responsible for bringing out all our family, giving them free board and food until they could be independent.

The words 'nuclear family' meant nothing to us as we were always surrounded by a huge family, as well as community.

Dad also helped other young men and couples who migrated to Australia. They were always included in family outings and our combi van was always full of people and food.

He built up small businesses as a greengrocer and had a thriving fish and chips business. His days started mostly at 3.30 am to go to the market and home at 6pm.

He was a homing pigeon and always happy to be home, but sometimes did visit his brothers' families who lived in the same street or area, most of the time.

He never charged the family for food they took from our shops.

As the family did not have cars in the early days, he would do the rounds and pick up all my cousins and drive us to school.

He never complained about being tired, and when we were old enough to go out to functions, he would eat, have a shower and get ready to take us out and wait around somewhere until it was time to pick us up after parties, etc.

He always knew how to cut costs but give people a great feed. In his fish and chips business, he made his own fish cakes and they were so popular.

 On Fridays, I had to help as the shop was bulging at the seams with people and the cue went outside the door and down the side street alongside our side fence. 

We had two fish and chips shops on either side of us, just a short distance away- empty, of course!

Later in life, he became a real estate agent. I remember a time when the interest rates were very high in the 1970/80's and it was common for young couples to get second mortgages on top of a first mortgage.

A young couple wanted to buy a house from dad but he refused to sell it to them as he looked over their finances, and said that a second mortgage would ultimately lead them to lose their house and put pressure on their marriage.

The bank had okayed them for the two loans, as they did in those days!

There is so much more to dad, but the loveliest memory was when he would take mum to the station to go to work in the early morning.

 I would hear a clatter in the kitchen and he would bring me breakfast in bed, with a cup of coffee and a rose in a small vase. He always said 'a rose for a rose.'

Gratitude for my teachers


Mostly, and unfortunately, the majority of my teachers were stressed, mean, or just interested in getting information across. 

The teachers that I have fond memories of were those who were able to get off their pulpits and show kindness and have a little 1:1 moment while teaching.

 Just reading what I have written, I wonder why I actually liked school!

My Grade 6 teacher


She was a nun and the kindest one in my four years at catholic school. Nuns could be tough ladies!

I don't remember her hitting us, as part of normal practise at the time, when they were annoyed at someone's antics. 

Often, the whole class copped it so we would get angry at the culprit and put peer pressure on him( yes, it was always a 'him').

My family went overseas for three months so she would sit with me every day, before we went, and taught me what I needed to learn.

Looking back, I would have done well with homeschooling as I was a quick learner and enjoyed the 1:1 sessions.

Mr. Pavlov


Mr. Pavlov was a Russian teacher who was a mixture of strictness but funny! He could get angry but no one was really scared of him.

 If the boys got on his nerves, he called them 'potatoes' and they knew they were out of line.

I remember his kindness- when he roved the classroom, he always spoke kindly to me and asked me how I was going. 

I was not backward in maths but I certainly was not super confident.

 If he thought I wasn't sure of something, he explained the concept quietly at my desk and he always got his message through easily.

Mr. Kuhne


Another maths. teacher who struck terror in us all! 

Everything was black and white and there were no excuses. 

He told us the rules on the first day and stuck to them. 

He took a lineup area and everyone rushed to be on time as even talking to a Principal etc was no excuse- you just had to be lined up on time.

What a nice surprise to find how patient he was on a 1:1 basis, and he made maths so easy to understand that I actually enjoyed it.

 He was kind on a 1:1 basis and was patient with students who needed some support.

 He just did not tolerate rudeness and those who wasted time in class.

Mr. Jones


My art teacher who was just a nice guy. You did not have to be good at art, just enjoy it. He was one of the only teachers, in that era, who allowed us to stay inside at lunchtime.

Miss Simpson


My English teacher for both English and English Literature. When I was a teenager, a lot of learning was 'chalk and talk', with copying from the board or answering questions on paper.

I remember being very upset as Miss Simpson would come in, sit on top of a desk, and just talk or fire questions at us. I was so concerned that my exercise books were empty!

She was encouraging us to think and talk, express our views. Our results were phenomenal- with the majority of our class receiving A's in our final year. This enabled me to get into the college of my choice. 


Miss Helen Welsh


Vice-principal at one of the schools where I do a substantial amount of casual teaching.

Helen has been so kind and this has enabled me to have lots of work, especially working in the grade 1/2/3 area.

She has respect for my experience and, as she asks for me by name when she rings the agency, she has given me a high profile as the agency has said that I am the only teacher that is requested by name!

 I am now an ambassador for the agency.

Rahul and Sheetal


The parents of two young students who I tutor, they are doctors and lead a very busy life as they are on call.

They tell me how they appreciate how I teach their children and asked, this past Christmas, if I would mind if they gave me a raise in pay!


The resident doctor who saved my life.


I was five months pregnant and was taken to hospital with appendicitis. 

 I had a high pain threshold but I remember the incredible pain. I was taken in about 9 pm and they were waiting for a doctor to arrive- a Mr., not just a DR.! 

Well, he just didn't arrive and they had to keep changing the time of my operation.

Finally, he arrived and it was about 2.30 pm next day that I was taken into theatre. By that time, my appendix had burst and the pain was escalating and I just wanted to escape the incredible pain.

The nurses said, with glints in their eyes, how lucky I was to have this doctor operating on me.

Well- Mr. arrived! He walked into the theatre (I was still conscious) and walked over to the nurses where there was a bit of giggling going on. Not even a look at me.

The last thing I remember was the resident doctor being very angry and shouting to others to get me ready for the operation as I was in a bad way.

Well, that week I had round-the-clock checks every 10 minutes. I remember not being able to open my eyes at one point but hearing what was going on around me.

 I remember a very high level of pain. I just wanted the pain to end.

I remember feeling that I could just slip away and then, feeling so scared that I could die, I talked myself into positive thinking mode- you will survive, the team in hospital will look after you etc.

When I left the hospital, the matron and the doctor talked to me separately and said that I had been so ill that it was a miracle that I was still alive. 

They actually used the word 'miracle'. So the feeling I had that I could pass on was real!

They also said that there was no word to describe my baby surviving the operation and my subsequent level of illness. They had expected both of us to die. Yes, they actually said 'die'.

My friend, Rob!


My friend who has stuck by me when I went through a bad depression and was close to a breakdown after my dad died and the family went to pieces.

He was there holding my hand when the doctor and nurse were trying to get my heartbeat back to normal, as they said I was having a heart attack, stress-induced.

He never judged me and understood what I was going through.

Who are you grateful for? Who are your 'standout' people that left their mark on you? I'd love you to share your memory with me.


Who are you most grateful for? Have you actively thought about it? You might surprise yourself with your reflections.




Does gratitude contribute to wellness?

Does gratitude contribute to wellness?

Does Gratitude lead to Happiness?


I decided to find out how gratitude contributes to wellness as there are many memes and printables focusing on gratitude.  

Have we ever thought about gratitude and its importance to us as a society?


What is gratitude? 


Gratitude is a social emotion and it connects us to our social world. 

It is directed at someone who has helped us in some way and it can range from a simple act of someone offering their seat on public transport to lifelong gratitude for an act of kindness that may have had grand repercussions to someone, such as an act that may have saved someone's life.

The power of gratitude is its ability to build repricocity in others so if you practise gratitude towards others, they are more inclined to reciprocate gratitude themselves.

 Gratitude becomes a circular event that connects us socially, with warm feelings towards other human beings.

Scientific research has shown that practising gratitude, with you being the giver or receiver, stimulates the frontal cortex of the brain and this sets a chain reaction that ultimately leads to a boost in our mental wellbeing. 

Practising gratitude helps us become better human beings by being less selfish in our wants and perceived needs, and develops humility in ourselves.

 Instead of focusing on perceived deficits, such as the lack of material wealth, we focus on our blessings by actively thinking about the 'positives' in our daily and long-term life.

It is so easy to focus, for example, on one bad thing that has happened and not let it go. 

That one thing masks the many good things that have also happened and we need a jolt in our thinking to put things in perspective as focusing on negatives can impact your mental wellness.

What prompted me to start thinking about gratitude?


As I spend a lot of time on Pinterest, I saw an idea that I loved. It was the Gratitude Jar, wherein you write one thing you are grateful for each day and place this note in the jar. 

At the end of the year, you should have 365 memories of things you were grateful for throughout the year. 

I thought it was a great idea and what a lot of lovely memories you would be reliving, that you would ordinarily have forgotten. 

It is a great way of training your mind to think of something that was positive and uplifting, and that you are grateful for. 

Throughout my life, I have seen others who spend most of their time ruminating on all the negatives in their lives and focusing on bad memories. 

They were emotionally draining, unhappy people. 

Should you make an effort to practise the art of gratitude?

 

As mentioned earlier, practising gratitude has a beneficial effect on our brain and mental and physical wellness. 

On social media, time and time again, I have often read that if we ever saw the effects negative thought had on us internally, we would never have a negative thought again. 

I was listening to an audiobook prior to sitting down to write this part, and it was discussing the effects that negative and positive thoughts have on us and it made an astounding statement.

 Along with the claims that are perhaps expected, it said that when we are in a negative zone e.g. we are scared of bees that may be in our line of sight, we emit our anxiety so powerfully that a bee can actually pick up our vibrations, interpret our anxiety and sting us. 

I have never been scared of bees so that may explain why I have not been stung, even though there were plenty of bees around as I grew up.

 I have decided to add this in as an interesting fact, and you may or not believe it!

One article went into depth about how a negative thought triggers a set of physical reactions within our body and it was staggering to read how many reactions our bodies experience, without us being aware of the potentially harmful chemical surges within our body.

Having negative thoughts sets a train of events inside our bodies that we cannot fully perceive as it is invisible to us. 

So it is valuable to train yourself to practise gratitude until it becomes a habit.  

 I have witnessed a total lack of gratitude in others who are unable to say 'thank you' for a present or unexpected handout, for time spent helping them or mentoring them in a new job and they are negative souls and you can never get their loyalty. 

Needless to say, they have fractured relationships in life and this turmoil cannot be good for their mental or physical wellness. 

If you feel you have nothing to feel grateful for or think that you are a 'half-glass empty' person who dwells on the negative, remember that :


Today
  • someone took their last breath 
  • someone received news that they had a life-threatening illness
  • someone was just retrenched
  • someone lost a baby
  • someone didn't have enough money when shopping and had to put groceries back
  • someone suffers from depression in silence
  • someone had news that their partner had just died 
  • someone who needs to work has a sick child but manages their family
  • someone has a child with a diagnosis that means lifelong special care
  • someone is in an abusive relationship but it is better than living on the street or being stalked
  • someone whose marriage has deteriorated and finding it hard to keep up the pretence
  • someone is having a breakdown and being judged by family

What to be grateful for each day:


Do you appreciate 

  • someone you don't know smiling at you unexpectedly?
  • offering you a seat?
  • making you a cup of tea or coffee?
  • cooking dinner?
  • taking you out for dinner?
  • helping you with a project?
  • staying after work to talk to you?
  • a child bringing you a flower? (I get this sometimes from school children)
  • letting you go first in the queue?
  • someone picking up something you dropped?
So many possibilities!

The Benefits of Gratitude


The benefits of gratitude are twofold: physical and mental wellness. Some people are better at it than others so, for some, it is a habit to be acquired by practising with deliberate intention. 

Without gratitude, we lose the 'glue' that binds us, not only to those we know but to the rest of humanity. 

Those who helped Jewish people escape from the Nazis, by hiding them in their houses, did so at their own peril. 

The gratitude felt by those who were saved was a lifelong feeling towards those strangers.
 
Gratitude develops trust towards the humanity of others.

 If people are kind to strangers, we feel safer and more secure in our place in the world.

How to start developing the habit of gratitude.


It takes 30 days to develop a new habit and this habit is a worthwhile, important habit for your overall happiness.   
This Gratitude journal has 3 vital components in it, to help you focus on developing your road to a happier life through the practice of gratitude. You can see it here. 



















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    HOW DO YOU BUILD THE MINDSET MUSCLE-RESILIENCE?



    How do you build resilience?




    How Does One Build Resilience?

    We need to build resilience from an early age as children need to be prepared for life and, as adults, we will come upon times of overwhelm, grief, sadness, or darkness.

    As I reflect upon my childhood, I remember having to do so many things without the support of my parents. 

    If I wanted or needed to do it, I just had to figure out a way to do it, without relying on them.

    That is not to say that they were not good parents but times were different then. My parents were very hard-working migrants who came to Australia with nothing but a few precious things they could bring with them.

    They came at a time when there was not the support that migrants have now so dad, who was a highly skilled waiter, making lots of money overseas, had to work as a carpenter while mum worked in a factory making televisions. 

    She went for an interview with little English. while walking up and down the streets in town and just happened to talk to someone who sent her to this job.  

    I remember dad saving his money to build a bungalow and my sister and I sleeping on a wooden table, for a while. 

    These days, parents are constantly running their children from one activity to another, and kids get chauffeured to school, with few exceptions for those who walk or catch the bus.

     In fact, there are Walk to School programs to encourage children to walk to school.  How many people worry about rain in case they get a little bit wet?  My sister and I walked through sleet to get home and then drained our shoes as they were filled with water. LOL.

     I do realise that it is a different world today and, with distances being covered and safety issues, parents want to make sure their children get to school safely. 

    The point is not really about walking in the rain or the heat- it is about persevering and pushing through things, without making excuses, giving up, and getting out of our comfort zone.

    My memories of  my personal challenges:

    Reflecting on my early memories of my childhood, I had a lot of fun but it was because I had things I wanted to do and, as my parents were not always available, I had to find a way to do them myself.  

       Walking to school through two suburbs in the fierce heat or the pounding rain as a young child. 

       Walking to the church by myself on Saturday morning- again through 2 suburbs-so I could get to the 7 a.m. confessional (I took religion very seriously then).

       Catching a bus in the morning to the pools in summer, making sure I had some food and drink for the day, and often having to walk an hour home in the blistering heat because the bus driver didn’t feel like making the stop! (starting from 8 years old)

        Having to do my own homework and reading activities as parents, in those days, were not expected to help and simply did not have the time. If they worked, they did not have modern conveniences, like washing machines, but battled with the wringer!

        Working in my dad’s shops at an early age, during busy periods. I had to weigh the customer's fruit and vegetables and add and give correct change, using only mental calculations. It gave me great responsibility and dad trusted me. 
     
       Preparing for exams in high school but still having to honor all other family and personal expectations(later, we brought all our family to Australia and it was expected that you visit regularly and celebrate birthdays on the day of the birthday- not leave it until the weekend. It could be stressful!

        Having a part-time job at 14, and having to walk half an hour in the dark on wintery
        Saturday mornings to catch a train to where I worked. 

             When I saw a difficult educational task that my sister was doing, I would say to myself “That’s okay- I will be older and then I will understand.”

       Being the interpreter for my parents and one of my aunties and uncles from a young age.

       Having an asthmatic baby and having sleepless nights, then going to work.

       Working full time and taking my four children to their after-school activities-sport and dancing- doing school preparation most nights after they went to bed, and then sewing their costumes until 3 a.m. before concerts, and then working again in the morning. This was an endless cycle for many years and I was so tired all the time. I ended up with chronic fatigue and left teaching for a few years, so I could spend quality time with the children. 

        Going through a divorce is a grieving process but, all of a sudden, there are many things that need to be organized and extra money to be found to live. It's overwhelming but you have to push through. 


        Most people have daily challenges and busy periods that come in waves throughout the year.

    The reason I mentioned the above is that I realize that I have learned to push myself to achieve my goal. 

    Sometimes I felt as if my bones were exhausted but I learned to take each day at a time.

    So those experiences are very personal to me and shaped the person I am.  

    It has helped me through a very challenging time when I found out what it was like to want to give up and  I experienced an extreme low, which was out of character for me.

    Somehow, I got through it, even though I found it difficult, I still turned up for work and asked for help in the right channels, to build my resilience again. I refused medication to help me get through my depression and turned to my community and my work, which I enjoy. Reading about Gratitude and its power to change your mindset and allow happiness in was the real game changer for me. 

    Personally, I went to a counselor but I did not find it useful. It may work for you but she was possibly in her early 20's and was of no help whatsoever. The power of gratitude worked better than a counselor in my case.

    Building resilience since childhood is the factor that helped me on my journey: to keep seeking answers, and eventually that led me to appreciate the power of gratitude, as I refused medication.
     

    Strategies to build resilience


    WHEN FEELING OVERWHELMED- DOWNSIZE!


    What has helped me during my studies and working online is to break a task into small, manageable steps and focus on only one step at a time. 

    This also helps you to prioritize what needs to be done, and in what order.

    So it actually clarifies the task mentally for you, which in turn makes you understand what you are doing and gives you momentum.

    MAINTAIN AND MAKE NEW CONNECTIONS WITH LIKE-MINDED, SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITIES


    I read that the saddest thing in life is to feel that no one cares about you and not be able to share meaningful experiences with those who have the same values.

     A handful of caring people who listen to you can be the difference between a person giving up or deciding to push through a very difficult time.

    These are the people you let into what is happening in your life. They teach you the difference between positive support and negative judgment. 

    It can be surprising where that support comes from! 


    MAINTAIN AND MAKE NEW CONNECTIONS WITH LIKE MINDED, SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITIES




    REMEMBER THAT REALITY IS REALLY SOMEONE’S PERCEPTION OF A SITUATION.


    You can choose your reactions to any situation and, if you stay connected to your meaningful communities, you will find that different people have different reactions to the same situations.

    When I was concerned about a family member's perceptions and behaviour, I visited a trusted doctor to discuss what I was seeing and hearing.

    It was valuable as he verified what I had been thinking: that the person had an undiagnosed social disorder. 

    Then, you need to be proactive and protect yourself as sometimes you can trust family values and compassion but not everyone thinks like you do. 

    Don't disregard your gut feeling and professional advice! 


    Remove yourself from situations where one can manipulate situations and bring you down. 

    Look for ways to change negative situations into positive situations. 

    The challenges in front of us can teach us to improve ourselves if we choose to learn from the experience.

    On a personal note, my life changed drastically a couple of years ago, when the workplace I had spent my life working at, got rid of all senior personnel who were well respected in their profession.

    They had a need to cut costs because of a variety of bad financial decisions they had made throughout the years as they had not made necessary changes earlier. 

    They were then forced into making financial decisions that hurt a lot of loyal, highly experienced staff.

    It was a blow but it taught me so much.

     I do not think I would have learned how to build websites, learn internet marketing, blog and make friends from all over the world, and make a successful re-entry into mainstream teaching if the changes to my career had not happened. 

    And my teaching career has flourished!


    CONTROL YOUR REACTIONS


    COPING WITH STRESS


    I have worked in the Autism area for many years and we had to actively teach our students strategies for emotional control so they could cope better with their world, which could often be distressing or confronting for them. 

     Under the guidance of the Occupational Therapists, each student had a calming strategy suited to their level of functioning.

    Lack of emotional control affects our body’s functioning in a negative way, as well as impacting those around us. 

    Yoga can help us to focus on our breathing and take the focus of whatever is upsetting us. 

    The focus on our breathing will control those hormones that build up with anxiety and damage our bodies.

      A simple technique with the children I taught, was to breathe in and then out to the count of five. 

    I taught the Zones of Regulation to all the children in Grade 4 (targeting an autistic, ADHD, trauma background student) and they loved it. 

    We also taught them to recognize their symptoms so they could use the technique independently, such as an awareness of their heart racing, flushed face, etc. 


    Hopefully, they will be well prepared for their adult years. It gave them strategies to use when they identified the need for it and we had very positive feedback from the parents.

    This is a simplistic account of the more in-depth strategy we employed with children. 

    For adults, if you don’t do Yoga, you can do a breathing exercise by choosing a number e.g. 3, then breathe in to the count of 3 seconds, then out for the same time and repeat for 3 minutes. 

    You can increase the number you wish to count to. 

    This is a method also taught to those in dangerous situations eg. those soldiers who go on dangerous missions and combat, such as the Navy SEALS, so don't dismiss its effectiveness. 

    You may be interested in this post What are the symptoms of unwellness, especially the Self-Care section.  

    VISUALISATION STRATEGIES


    When I was involved in Party Plan, as a part-time income, we were taught to put pictures on our fridge of goals we wanted to attain. 

    Most people would put up pictures of holidays, cars, houses, and other items they wished to buy. So the focus was always monetary-based.

    However, I use this strategy now and I use it in two ways.

     Firstly, I imagine what success looks like to me and, secondly, I think about the consequences of failure. 

    Both these imaginings keep me on track with my goals. 

    I may feel dispirited on a particular day but I never give up as I have a great imagination and just could not bear the consequences of failure!

    Through webinars, I learned to have a long-term goal and use this as a starting point.

     For example, if you have a financial goal for the year, you then use the first strategy mentioned above to break it down into smaller, achievable steps. 

    You break that yearly goal down to a monthly and weekly goal and, from there, you can work out how many customers and sales you need to attain your yearly goal.

    You can apply the visualization strategies to other areas of your life e.g. to keep you on track with your studies, a blog, or a program to become a successful sports player. 

      It is also important to use this strategy of visualization often – so daydream often!!!!

    DEVELOP GRACIOUSNESS BY SHOWING GRATITUDE.


    Start gratitude journaling now.


    This journal has 3 vital components to it to get you fully focused on your gratitude journey and developing more happiness.

    You can check out this lovely Gratitude journal here.














    There has been a great emphasis on showing gratitude on Social Media this past year. 

    Lots of great posts are appearing that talk about being grateful for things, such as being alive, having a roof over your head, someone who cares for you, daily food, etc. 

     My post  Does gratitude contribute to wellness? goes more into depth on this topic.

    Sometimes, it is hard to be positive when you have had something happen during your day that upsets you. 

    It can override all the positive things that may have happened throughout your day as it has an intensity to it that overrides all else.  

    To develop a more positive mindset and feel better, it helps to get into the habit of reflecting upon your day and thinking of at least 3 things that made you feel better. 

    It can be as simple as someone sharing a joke with you, or a stranger smiling and saying ‘hello’. 

     Some people are advocating the use of a Gratitude Journal to get into the habit of thinking about the positive things that happened each day, rather than focusing on one negative thing and letting the bad reflections build up during the week. 

    It helps develop a positive mindset, which is critical for a happier life and the attainment of your goals.  





    If  you want to test your resilience, take this quiz


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