Wellness: Self Doubt and Insecurities

Wellness:Self-doubt and Insecurities. How To Become the Best You Can

Master Self- Doubt and Insecurities and Become The Best You Can

It is important to master self doubt and insecurities. One of the most limiting things a person can experience in this life is self-doubt.

 It has the ability to keep you feeling locked away in a prison of your own insecurities. It will suffocate your ability to explore and be free to engage with opportunities and adventures and it will hold you back from ever achieving the things that you really want. 

It will limit your relationships with others and can destroy your most important relationships.

I have personally met people who even gave up on wanting anything at all due to having such a high level of self-doubt. 

Their insecurities had escalated to such a point over the course of their life where they eventually gave up on even considering that they had any level of freedom at all regarding their own choices.

These are the people you have met in life's course who always complain about something but will find a reason not to look at solutions. 

When friends offer a solution, their first reaction is to find a reason not to try it. They are paralysed and can't move out of their unhappy comfort zone. 

This is a terrible place to find ourselves in and it causes a person to live a life that has been massively limited by the illusory constructs that have formed in their mind. 

Fortunately, though, with a little work and the right amount of determination there is something that we can do to conquer this.

Dominating Doubt

Doubt itself, by its very nature is negative. 

It is something that denounces and turns down any thoughts of positive or action-inspiring suggestion. 

If left unchecked, doubt becomes a mindset that keeps a person completely closed off from the world of positive inspiration and it keeps a person confined to a self-centred and destructive ego.

In order to dominate doubt we must first desire to do so.

 If we do not have the desire to at least investigate the ability to overcome doubt, then there is truly no hope for us.

 Reactions also become bad habits. I know people that will contradict anything that is offered, without giving a suggestion its due diligence. 

They may want others to think that they have already thought of that action and dismissed it. This type of behaviour also may alienate friends who feel they are not worthy to be lsitened to.

A person who is happy to live in a world of doubt is like a cancer that will infect and overcome anyone who has even a shred of positivity to express, like a black hole, they consume all light, and there is no hope of it ever being reproduced in return.

Someone who has decided to overcome doubt though is like a black hole that has decided to try to stop sucking in everything and instead has chosen to learn how to produce and create a little light. 

Without having made the choice to do this, without having personally decided that they want to become more positive, more inspiring and more encouraging, a person has no hope of ever conquering their own self-doubt.

If a parent, a person like this will also frustrate their children, at the very least, or not  raise healthy adults with problem solving skills.

The Argument Of Doubt

The main argument that people offer to encourage their own self-doubt is that they have either never been able to, or never witnessed something positive happen.  

For example, if you try to encourage a person to become a confident public speaker and they harbor massive amounts of internal self-doubt, they will argue that they have never been able to speak confidently in public before and so they just think that from their own point of view, it cannot be done.

I can giver you a personal recount of someone I knew who sent her resume to a prospective employer and most of the page listed, in point form, the things she would not do and train in. 

I was shocked but her argument was that she knew she would neve be able to do those jobs so she was just being honest.

This same person complained about being lonely constantly so I tried various tactics. The last tactic I tried was that I went to the council offices to get a handbook of community activities and short courses. It was a big book, filled with interesting activites. Some were free and some cost coffee change money.

Needless to say, nothing was acted on and I realised that no matter how I tried to help, she would always come back with an excuse why she can't do something

Another person who doubts the ability of someone to come up with some kind of new and enlightening invention doubts it because he has never seen it done before and therefore thinks it simply cannot be done.

 In all cases of self-doubt, a person is living with a mindset that has experienced great limitation somewhere in the past.

Therefore, when we know this, we can implement strategies to conquer and eventually destroy these specific doubts. How do we do this?


What I am talking about is a form of creationism that is completely and intimately personal, not the biblical sense. It is inspirational, encouraging, motivating, it is creating and producing and freeing. It is everything that self-doubt is not.

 A strong mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug.This works for all kinds of self-doubt and insecurity because it has the effect of contradicting and opposing every form that self-doubt or insecurity takes.

We have to train our minds that self-doubting limitations are wrong, and eventually the mind learns a newer and more positive way of thinking about things, because it has witnessed firsthand the undoing of every single one of its limiting, doubting thoughts.

How do we retrain our minds?

Take challenges

In order to do this we must either show or create a case for the opposite. We need proof. Show yourself the opposite of your own self-doubt. Investigate and encourage yourself to try your very best to achieve or to witness or experience the very thing that your mind doubts.

Commit yourself to the challenge of proving every single one of your doubts wrong, and if you can do this, you will slowly re-program your mind to be able to achieve anything that you could possibly want to achieve.

Use Lists

Lists have always helped me overcome fears of failing. 

For example, making a list of solutions. Prioritize this list into the most and least objectionable or 'do-able' for you. So now you have a list of possible actions that sit in the priority order of what you will most likely be able to do. 

Now, what I would then do would be make a positive and negative list under some of the actions you are more likely to take.

Under negatives, I would list what I am afraid of and what could possibly happen if I take that course of action. 

Under positives, I would list the good points that may happen if I take that course of action. I call this my balance sheet of life and have used it for things I found challenging. So it's similar to  'What's the worst that can happen?' and 'What's the best that can happen?'

Is there really something I need to fear?

Input from friends

I would also ask for input from friends or life partner as they can be a great support and see things from a different perspective.

You may also need to find out how others see you as you may not be aware that others deal with your self-image,as well.

Once again, on a more personal level, I did not have great self-awareness when younger.

Through my work with children, I realised how respected I was by the wonderful feedback I received from principals, vice-principals and, when leaving to live interstate, I received a personal letter from t he Head of Education in the state, stating what feedback he had received from my principals.

If your insecurities impact on your relationship with your partner, your list is a great starting point to discussing issues as your partner may need to understand and encourage your actions.

There are also lots of material on youtube on creating a positive mindset and mindfulness for you to watch and listen to, on a regular basis.

 I find the positive memes on Facebook and Twitter are also inspiring-a simple thing but effective! You can't get rid of a negative mindset without creating a new habit.

So daily short commitments to new thoughts are important.

Increase your personal power through positive thoughts and eliminate negative self talk.

Conquer the limitations of your doubts and you become a purely positive, inspirational, creative force of life on this planet earth.

Sit with your doubting mind however, and you will begin to fester in a world of negativity, opposition, and argument for all things limiting. I know which path I would rather choose.
Now the choice is up to you


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